LISA and the next generation of space-based laser interferometers require gravitational reference sensors (GRS) to provide distance measurements to picometre precision for LISA, and femtometre precision for the proposed Big Bang Observatory (BBO). We describe a stand-alone GRS structure that has the benefits of higher sensitivity and ease of fabrication. The proposed GRS structure enables high precision interferometric links in three-dimensional directions. The GRS housing provides the optical reference surface onto which the transmitted laser beam, and the independent received laser beam are referenced. The stand-alone GRS allows balanced optical probing of the distance of the proof mass relative to the housing at a power and wavelength that differ from the transmitted and received wavelengths and with picometre sensitivity without radiation pressure imbalance. The single parameter that reduces proof mass disturbance forces is the gap spacing. Optical readout allows the use of a large gap between the GRS housing and proof mass. We propose using rf-modulated optical interferometry to measure both relative displacement and absolute distance. Further we propose to use a reflective grating beamsplitter within the GRS and on the external optical bench. The reflective grating design eliminates the in-path transmissive optical components and the dn/dT related optical path effects, and simplifies the optical bench structure. Inside the GRS, a near-Littrow mounted grating enables picometre precision measurement at microwatts of optical power. Preliminary experimental results using a grating beamsplitter interferometer are presented, which demonstrate an optical sensing sensitivity of 30 pm Hz^−1/2.